Ok… The Watchman… If you thought movies such as the Pirates of the Caribbean had too many characters and funky side plots that didn’t really add to the story telling aspect of the film – then DO NOT see The Watchmen. I think that Silk Spectre II said it best… And I quote: “Can’t you just tell me how it ends – Save us the trouble?” The actress seemed about as annoyed as everyone else around me about 2 ½ hours into the film.
The good thing about The Watchmen is that it shows you how the world would have been if Ronald Reagan and hair bands were never a part of the 80’s… We all know the world is a much better place because of Jaguars, Jackson Guitars and Tawny Kitaen – those of you who are now banging your head and singing “Here I Go Again” know what I am talking about!
“Don't worry, Marty. Assuming we succeed in our mission, this alternate 1985 will be changed back into the real 1985!” “Alternate 1985 – this is heavy duty Doc!”
Heavy Duty indeed! The Watchmen was designed to show a more “human” aspect of the cliché comic book hero… Exactly what Chris Nolan was able to do to the Batman franchise - but instead of, director Zack Snyder, delivering anything that an audience, not already heavily emotionally invested in the book, could even remotely relate to - he just threw in some skin… “Hey Dr. Manhattan (did any one else think he sounded like a 12 year old kid) seems to be disconnecting even further from the audience – I got an idea…” As Emerald would say, “BAM!” And don’t give this, “But it was in the book!” Come on – EVERY time he was on screen without his “Star Trek” looking Speedo the theater was filled with everything from childish giggles to just, “was that really necessary?” followed by goofy to uncomfortable laughter! And he did it with all the characters – Except to the ONLY bright spot in the movie - Walter Kovacs’s Rorschach!
It is official I am voting for Walter Kovacs in the next Presidential election. The somewhat diminutive actor played the part of Rorschach with an abundant passion and looked 7 feet tall and bullet proof in the process!
“I'm not locked in here with you! You're locked in here with ME!”
Not only was he the only character in the film with an actual moral compass – like him or not – the development of his character was real! You could understand his actions, pains, and short comings and you loved him even more for it!
“Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.”
Bottom line is Snyder took several of the fight scenes from 300, an in vogue political agenda and one, actually thought out character and just made a movie - instead of actually telling a great story…
Listen, maybe it’s just me, but I like to see movies where I don’t think that my 95 year old, 4ft. tall, great aunt could crane kick one of the main “Super” heroes (I won’t say who… Night Owl!) back to pre production! I hope they enjoy the press and the box office numbers this weekend, because they won’t be there long! Buy the graphic novel and thank me later!
I give it 2 out of 5 rolled up graphic novels upside your face!
